


Reinforcements

by OreoLuvr13



Series: Buck and May and Some Sibling Love [6]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Abandonment Issues, Established Relationship, Evan "Buck" Buckley Needs A Hug, Hurt Evan "Buck" Buckley, Loopy Buck on pain meds, M/M, Miscommunication, Pain Killers, Protective Siblings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-15
Updated: 2020-08-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:28:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25918093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OreoLuvr13/pseuds/OreoLuvr13
Summary: Things are good between Buck and Eddie, really good. But feelings of self- doubt and self-worth rear their ugly head after Buck gets hurt on a rough call. Now he’s distancing himself from Eddie when he needs him the most. Luckily, May is there to fix things.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley & May Grant, Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Series: Buck and May and Some Sibling Love [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1766836
Comments: 28
Kudos: 406
Collections: 9-1-1 Tales





	Reinforcements

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place after “When Secrets Come to Light in the Most Inopportune Time” but before “One Bad Call” meaning everyone knows about Buck and Eddie.

Buck lets out a loud sigh when he removes the ice pack from his throbbing leg, seeing the discolored, swollen flesh of his calf. Crap. He was hoping that the swelling would have gone down some by now. This is not good.

It’s been close to a year and a half since the ladder truck incident and since his last surgery on his leg. The recovery was grueling, but well worth it when he passed his recertification LAFD exam. Since then his leg has been good. In fact his leg has been doing so good that the only physical remnant of the catastrophic injury is the occasional cramp when he gets when he doesn’t drink enough water or the rare bout of soreness when a storm is coming in.

With the physical reminders of his injury few and far between, he rarely thinks about it. Except for when he wakes up in the middle of the night, with the smell of smoke in his nostrils and the sounds of an explosion filling his ears, his hand instantly moving to his left leg. Or when Eddie traces his fingers and lips gently over the slowly fading scars while they lay in bed.

And he was definitely not thinking about his leg when he did that door breach yesterday. The door was solid oak taking Buck three attempts before he finally breached it. The call was intense so he didn’t feel the damage until they were back at the station when the adrenaline wore off.

He waved off Eddie and Hen’s look of concern when he limped to the shower. Saying his leg was just a little tight. That the shower would help loosen it up. It wasn’t until he got in the shower and saw the swollen, mirage of blue, violets, and greens that he realized how bad it was.

He knows that he should have told someone. Have Hen check it out. Definitely not Chim. He’ll tell Maddie and his sister has enough on her plate with the baby. If he told Bobby, he would have sent Buck to the ER to get checked out and probably would have him benched for the next week. And Buck can’t do that again. He’s already been through that once before.

Buck knows that he should have told Eddie. They’re partners and they share everything. From stealing food off each other plates, sharing each other’s clothes, to waking Chris up for school. They’re basically living together. And even though their relationship has faced a lot of obstacles; the ladder truck, a pulmonary embolism, a tsunami, the lawsuit, Eddie’s fight club, another embolism, all while in a secret relationship, they came out okay. In fact, they’re better than ever.

But Buck couldn’t stop himself from telling Eddie that he was going to go back to his place at the end of their shift. He should have told Eddie that his leg was killing him and that he just wanted to lay down. That he didn’t have it in him to smile through the pain. That he didn’t want to make Eddie worry or take care of him. That he didn’t want to be exhausting. But he didn’t. Instead he lied. He told Eddie that he had some stuff to do at his own place. His heart ached when he saw the disappointed look on his partner’s face, but then Buck remembers the look on Eddie’s face in the grocery store all those months ago. _“You’re exhausting.”_

Now he’s alone in his near empty apartment feeling like shit. Not only is his leg still hurting but he also has the added guilt that both Eddie and Chris are worried about him. When he’s not in a drug-induced sleep, he’s been avoiding Eddie’s calls and replying to his partner’s near constant texts with vague reassurances that he’s fine and will be back home tomorrow.

He can’t do anything right. That even in his attempt to not bother Eddie, he still makes it about him. Worrying both Eddie and Chris.

Buck bites his lip when a particularly sharp cramp pulses in his calf, just as he hears a knock on his door. Are you freaking joking. He told Eddie he was fine. That he didn’t need to come over.

“Buck! It’s me!” May calls from the other side of the door.

May. Great. She’s probably mad at him too. This is only the second time that she’s been home since she left for college. Buck was supposed to go over there tonight for dinner but he texted her and Bobby earlier that he wouldn’t be able to make it.

Maybe if he’s quiet she’ll think he’s not home and will leave.

“I know you’re in there. I saw your jeep parked out front. If you don’t answer the door, I’m going to assume you’re passed out. Which means I’m going to call my mom. And she’s going to come over here and break your door down. Your choice.”

Last thing he wants is for May to call Athena. May is scary. But Athena is scarier.

“Buck?!”

“Comin’,” Buck calls out as he carefully sits up and limps painfully over to the door.

“Finally!” May says when he opens the door. Her arms at her hips, her eyes telling him she’s not amused. Buck has seen this look at least a dozen times, but it’s usually on Athena’s face. It’s a little unnerving to see May sporting it. There’s no way he’s going to get her to leave, so he steps aside to let her into his apartment.

“Nice to see you too, May.” Buck mutters as he leans against the back of a kitchen chair, allowing him to take some of the pressure off of his aching leg.

She crosses her arms over her chest. “Why did you cancel on dinner tonight? You’re always up for dinner at Mom and Bobby’s. I texted you about it during the week and you said you were coming. What changed?”

Buck looks down at his leg, avoiding the teenager’s glaze. 

“Did something happen at work? Are you mad at Bobby?”

Great not only are Eddie and May upset with him, but is Bobby too? “Everything is fine with Bobby. Did he say something? Is he mad that I missed dinner?”

“Mad?” May’s questions. “He’s not mad. Confused, yes. He’s as clueless about you canceling on dinner as I am.”

Buck lets out a relieved sigh as he moves to sit down in the chair. That’s one less thing to worry about. At least Bobby isn’t mad at him.

May takes Buck sitting as an invitation for her to do the same, so she does. “If it’s not work or Bobby. Then what is it?” He can feel her eyes on him taking in his haggard appearance. Her tone changes. It’s softer when she says, “You look awful. Did you and Eddie have a fight?”

Buck rubs his forehead. He really doesn’t want to talk about this. Not when his leg is one constant pain. He really needs a pain pill. Then maybe he can sleep and hopefully the next time he wakes up, his leg will be better and he can go back home. “We didn’t have a fight. Nothing’s wrong.”

May looks around the apartment. “Well, something is obviously wrong because Bobby said both you guys had the day off. You’re here and he’s not. You guys always spend the day together when you have a day off.”

He’s about to repeat that everything is okay when a pain shoots up his leg and a moan escapes his lips instead.

“Buck, you okay?” May asks, worry laced in her voice as she’s instantly up and at his side. “What’s wrong?”

He goes to shake his head when she warns, “And don’t tell me nothing. Something’s wrong.”

Her earlier threat of calling Athena is fresh in his mind. He doesn’t want that. “My leg. Hurt it yesterday on a call,” tilting his head towards his left leg.

“What do you need me to do?” May asks softly. “Do you need to go to the hospital? Should I call Eddie or Maddie?”

Buck shakes his head. “Just help me get back to the couch.”

“Okay,” May says as she offers her shoulder for extra support as he slowly rises to his feet. They take it slow as they inch their way towards the couch. Still, he’s a sweaty mess when he lays his down on the pillow, gently rolling onto his side.

“Here you go,” May says softly, cursing softly when she sees his leg. “What else do you need, Buck?”

Eddie. He needs Eddie. But he can’t. Not now. Not when he’s this exhausting. Instead he asks May to get him some water and motions with his hand to where his prescription bottle is on the coffee table. May waits until he’s settled back against the couch as he begins to feel the effects of the pain medicine, before pressing him. It’s well known within the 118 that Buck gets loose lips when he’s on Grade A pharmaceuticals. Sometimes it’s funny. The random facts and stories Buck says. Other times it takes on a more serious turn when he says things that he normally keeps to himself.

And clearly May knows this.

“Why are you alone?” May asks, biting her lip. “I thought for sure you’ll be at Eddie’s with you feeling like this.”

Buck doesn’t say anything. If he does, he knows it would be too much.

“He doesn’t know you’re hurt, does he?” May asks, even softer this time.

He shakes his head tiredly; the pain is already beginning to dull to a more tolerable level. He’s knows that he’s not going to be able to hold back when she asks her next question.

“Oh, Buck. Why didn’t you tell him?”

His eyes are already closing, his words stumble out of his lips in a slur. “Mm, exhausting.” He doesn’t have to say anything else. May knows about what happened in the grocery store last year. During the lawsuit he couldn’t speak with the 118, but he and May still stayed in contact. They avoided all talk about the lawsuit. Instead keeping conversation to May’s college applications, what shows were binge worthy, and the newest TikTok videos.

It’s a good thing she knows what he is talking about because Buck fades into unconsciousness before he can say anything else.

**XXXXX**

Eddie frowns in confusion when he hears someone knocking on the door.

“Who’s that?” Chris ask from the couch.

“No idea, bud.” Eddie replies. Who’s at the door? He didn’t order any food, so it’s not a delivery man. He spoke with his aunt earlier and she didn’t mention coming over.

It could be Buck. He said that he’ll be over tomorrow. But maybe decided to come home earlier. He said that he had things to do at his apartment, but Eddie knows there’s more to it than that. He just doesn’t know what and Buck is not giving him much to work with.

Buck doesn’t knock though. He just walks in. Well, he normally does anyway. Who knows right now. Buck’s been acting strange since yesterday. First when he decided he was going back to his place for the weekend, saying he had things to do at his apartment. What things? Buck hasn’t slept in his own apartment in nearly a month. Then he went radio silent from last night until this morning. And then when he finally answered Eddie’s texts, they were clipped and short. Not Buck like at all.

“Dad, the door.” Chris says when there’s another knock.

“Stay here, I’ll be right back.” Eddie says, ruffling his son’s curls on his way to the door.

Eddie doesn’t know who he was expecting at the door, but it definitely isn’t May.

“May?”

“Hi, Eddie.”

“Um, Buck isn’t here.”

May rolls her eyes. “I know that. I just came from his place.”

“You did?”

She nods, running her hands over her bare arms. It’s later in the day, the sun is beginning to set, the air is cooler. “Can we go inside to talk?”

So he was right. There is something else going on with Buck. Why else would May be at his house on a Saturday night.

“You’re not going to yell at me again, are you?” Eddie jokes (maybe half jokes) as she follows him down the hallway.

May waves his comment off with her hand. Maybe she doesn’t, but Eddie clearly remembers his conversations with the college student after the parent-teacher conference fiasco and then again after he woke up to her sitting at his hospital bed after the well incident. “I don’t yell.”

Eddie nods. She does have a point. She doesn’t yell per se, her no nonsense tone doesn’t need a raised volume to get her point across.

“Hi May!” Chris calls from the couch when she sees her.

“Hi, buddy.” May says with a smile. “The next time I’m home, I’m taking you and Harry to go see the new alpaca exhibit at the zoo.”

“Awesome!” Chris says.

Chris has been obsessed with alpacas after learning about them in school. Eddie and Buck have already taken him once to the new zoo exhibit, but he’s been asking to go again. He’s touched by May’s offer. Buck and May are close and he knows that it makes Buck happy to see May and Chris spend time together.

“You don’t have to do that,” Eddie says to her before telling his son that they’ll just be in the kitchen if he needs anything.

“He’ll be doing me a favor. Harry and Chiara both want to go and I need Chris to come to help me keep my sanity,” May says pulling out a chair to sit at the table.

“Fair enough,” Eddie says taking the seat across from her. They sit in silence for a few moments before Eddie decides to break the ice. “Sooo what did I do? Because not for anything it’s kinda rude to come to some---”

“Buck’s hurt,” May cuts him off.

“Buck’s hurt?” Eddie asks. His fear that something was wrong with Buck confirmed as his mind replays the events over the last 24 hours. Nothing stands out. “What? I didn’t do anything. I don’t think I did.”

She bites her lip. “He hurt his leg. The bad one. I don’t know all the details, but he can barely walk on it. It’s all swollen and bruised.”

“Shit,” Eddie says running his hand through his hair. Then it clicks. Buck got quiet after that call. The door breach. “It must’ve been that door breach. I should have known something was wrong. He was too quiet after we got back to the station.”

He leans back against the chair. He should have known something was going on with Buck. “How bad is he?” Eddie asks.

“Pretty bad,” May says with a frown. “When I left him, he was sleeping after taking a pain pill. He didn’t want me to call you or Maddie. But he shouldn’t be alone. He might not want to admit it but he needs you. He needs to be here with you.”

He’s not surprised that Buck didn’t want May to call Maddie. Maddie’s an exhausted new mother with a newborn at home. But why not him? “Why didn’t he say anything to me?”

May takes a deep breath and frowns. She clearly does not want to say what she’s about to.

“May, just tell me what’s going on.” Eddie says with a sad laugh. “Because I feel like I’m in the dark here.”

She takes another breath before she says, “He thinks you think he’s exhausting.”

“What?” Eddie asks. “Where…why would he think that?”

“You really don’t remember, do you?” May asks.

Eddie recalls his conversation with May after the parent-teacher thing, where she enlightened him about Buck’s abandonment issues. And he knows how Red’s death scared Buck. Brought his insecurity about ending up alone to the forefront. Is that what this is? Buck’s abandonment issues rearing their ugly head again. Was Buck afraid that he would be left behind if he got hurt again? Eddie thought they worked through this. That Buck knew Eddie wasn’t going anywhere.

“During the lawsuit,” May says, interrupting Eddie’s train of thought. “You said that to him. You said that he was exhausting. That everyone has stuff they’re going through and they suck it up and move on.”

“I said that?” Eddie asks. He honestly doesn’t remember saying it. The lawsuit was a year ago. He remembers being incredibly angry and hurt that Buck went through with the lawsuit without even telling him beforehand. He knows he said things to Buck. But after Buck dropped it, they talked about it. Made up. They were passed all that that.

Or Eddie thought they were. Did he really call Buck exhausting?

“You did,” May says sadly. “During the lawsuit, he may not have been talking to you, Bobby, or anyone else from the firehouse but we still talked. He told me what you said. Before you start, he didn’t come right out and tell me. It was like pulling teeth. I called him to ask for help for something for school and I knew he was upset. So, I kinda pushed him until he told me what was wrong.”

Now everything makes sense. Buck not coming over last night. Him not answering Eddie’s calls and being short with his texts. He didn’t want to bother Eddie.

“What do I do?” Eddie asks. He feels like an idiot asking a teenager but he’s desperate to fix this. And May has set him straight on more than one occasion when it came to Buck.

“First, you need to go over there and bring him home. He’s been sleeping on the awful couch and that’s last thing his leg needs.”

That sounds simple enough. “Got it and then what?”

“You need to remind him that you’re here for him. No matter what. That he’s not exhausting. That when things get bad, he can come to you.”

Easier said than done. “I’m…not the best with this kind of stuff. I don’t always say the right thing.”

May snickers. “Well, you need to try. Say something. And if you can’t, you need to show him. Or he’s going to keep running away every time he’s hurting. Do you want that?”

“No, of course not.”

“Good, now go get him. I’ll stay with Chris.”

“You’re not going to yell at me? That’s it?”

“Do you want me to? Because I can.” May says with a smirk.

Eddie shakes his head, standing up. “I’m going.”

“Smartest thing you said since I got here,” May replies.

**XXXXX**

The next time Buck wakes up, his place is much darker than it was the last time he was awake. He must have been out for awhile.

He feels a familiar, calloused hand on his forehead. “Buck? You awake?”

“Eds.” Buck slurs out when he sees the other man sitting by his hip.

“Yeah, it’s me babe.” Eddie says kissing him on the cheek. “How’s your leg?”

“’y leg?” Buck asks through lidded eyes.

Eddie rolls his eyes. “Yeah, Buck. Your leg. May came over. She told me what’s going on.”

He lays there, taking in what Eddie said. Gauging his pain. Waiting for the throbbing pain that was there before to reappear. Thankfully, it doesn’t. His leg still hurts. But nothing like before. He feels Eddie tapping him on the cheek. “Buck, you with me?”

“Sorry, wha’ were you saying?” Buck says, trying to wipe the tiredness from his eyes. He hates taking the pills. They make his mind mush.

“Don’t worry about it. I can see you’re still feeling the meds. May told me you took one.”

He looks around the apartment for her but doesn’t see her. “Where she go?”

“May is home watching Chris right now,” Eddie says running a hand through Buck’s curls. 

Buck turns into the touch. Part of him knows that he shouldn’t. That this is him being needy. But, the other part, the part that just wants to curl up against Eddie and take comfort in his touch, wins out. “’m s’rry.”

“Sorry?” Eddie asks, deciphering the slurred words. “Sorry for what? I’m the one who should be sorry. I’m sorry that I didn’t realize that you were hurting and it took May telling me to get off my for me to come over here.”

“For being exhaustin’,” Buck says nuzzling closer towards Eddie.

Eddie sighs loudly. “You’re not exhausting. I’m sorry that I said that. You were hurting. The ladder truck. The pulmonary embolism. Not being able to work. It was too much. I know I had my own stuff going on, but I should have seen that you did too. And I’m sorry that I made you feel like you couldn’t come to me.” He runs his hand over Buck’s stubbled chin. Eddie frowns at the rough skin under his palm. The stubble serving as a testament to how awful Buck must be feeling. He’s always clean shaven. “I love you and I want you to come to me when you’re hurting.”

“You do?” Buck asks through glazed eyes.

Instead of words, a kiss serves as Eddie’s answer. Breaking away from the kiss, Eddie says, “We can talk more about this later when you’re not all hocked up on painkillers. Let’s go home.” Buck accepts Eddie’s help as he sits up.

“Let’s go ‘ome,” Buck says accepting the crutch Eddie holds out to him.

“Yeah, let’s get home before Chris talks May into getting him an alpaca.” Eddie says as he puts Buck’s prescription bottle into his pocket.

“An alpaca would be a cooooool pet,” Buck says with a crooked, drugged smile. “Name him Horace.”

“Horace?” Eddie asks with a laugh. It looks like he’s getting the ‘loopy Buck on pain killers.’ He grabs Buck’s elbow to help steady him when he lists too much to the side. “You’re not allowed to be around Christopher alone when we get home. Or we’re going to end up with a small zoo.”

They make their way home, slowly as Buck maneuvers towards the door on slightly unsteady legs, but with Eddie at his side.

**Author's Note:**

> I needed some more Buck whump. I’m such a sucker for it and I feel like we missed seeing some good Buck whump this season. I mean Buck had a major leg injury and was on blood for half the season…


End file.
